Fire & Ice

I have ice water flowing through my veins they say I don't care

Holding all my feelings inside for only me to bear

Why share, when those you care for most hurt you the most leaving you in despair 

Now I'm lashing out I didn't mean to say that but when the ice in these veins meets the fire in my heart 

It boils, slowly at first heating up like a tea pot on the stove until 

That loud sound of the tea whistle blows 

I'm scared of that action b/c if I blow that  action will cause a reaction and I'm scared to go down that road

I've been called selfish many times and yes it is true but when the selfish person is not me what should I do. 

Iron Mike Tyson set his opponents up with a great jab until that one shining moment his opponent lets his guard down then POW 

upper cut has them seeing stars 

Your amazed at the upper cut and what raw power it brings but you didn't see those hundred jabs that brought the sting

Pen in my hand letting my thoughts flow Today was my birthday if you didn't already know. 

33 I am a very significant number to me and never did I think it would bring out the worst in me

GOD, I know this has to be a test and no I'll never defy your holy name

I thank you for these test and the strength it brings. 

My love is upset with me b/c I'm not interested in the things she did for me 

I don't understand when I did everything in my power just to lay by her side 

Now that ice is meeting the fire and I feel that tea pot just may blow 

Lord please calm these nerves, so much is on my mind, like when I get fired Monday a job I gotta find. Bills still need to be paid, Christmas gifts purchased, bank account ugly as fuck, guess it's safe to say I'm down on my luck

And the question I keep asking myself

what money is coming in????

Lord I need answers so it's you I come to begin

I made a promise to not go back to these streets knowing it's so easy for me 

But I'm not that man anymore and I'm not trying to be

Lord I'm learning these lessons as you take me through the Fire, I know your there even when I can't feel or see you b/c I know the devil is a liar 

I want to smoke to ease my mind and help me sleep but I promised myself to stop and get my system clean

I know I'm hard headed I get that from William Moody and I miss him so much honestly and truly 

If he were here he would give me a prayer cloth, something I never cherished as a child

But oh Lord do I ever need one now. 

I can Ethel's voice "My child stay in GODs light"  

G-Ma this battle I will not lose, I have so much to give to this world so much more to prove!

This ice must melt and this fire must cool and then I'm giving all praises to GOD, let the church say AMEN!