MEDITATE

Excuse me while I medicate, damn I mean meditate
Got so much on my mind, I got so much on my plate
I guess this the price you pay when you try to become great
I’m sorry moms im not married, so sorry I haven’t gave you any grand kids
But right now children aren’t inclusive to the way I live
I’m just trying to be the man I envisioned as a child
And no I’m not hustling, finally trying to live right
Praying to the lord that guide me to the light, I’m praying to the lord that he guide me to my wife
And yes I think I found her but why can’t I do right
Sometimes I want to be left alone, sometimes I want to be included,
Most of the time I want to be included with the option of being left alone
Come to think about it I haven’t been to church in a while
I’m not so much religious I’m more spiritual now
Communication is the key to any relationship and I’m not a very good communicator I keep so much held w/in
Sometimes I get so angry I gotta smile and I grin, so I pick up my paper and release it with my pen
Trump say he wanna make America great again, I wonder if people of color is welcomed in
I know I’m all over the place with this here, I’m trying to get my mind right, trying to get my mind clear.
I can’t lie getting money makes me feel alive, and right now I feel like I’m barely getting by
I’m not holding back right now I can’t control these tears, I’m not running anymore I’m ready to face my fears
I got my gumption from Ethel Cole in my dreams I saw her last night
She came down from heaven just to tell everything will be alright
And I needed that right there let me call Norma Moody just hearing her voice will soothe me
Somethings you just won’t understand the trials and tribulations it’s taken me to become a man
It’s so hard to share my insecurities so medicate, damn ok I mean meditate
I’m saving her this last dance and I pray to the lord she gives me another chance

LOW KEY COY

I shy away from the spotlight Thus, I keep my distance from everyone 

Ever wonder how this low key guy copes with everyone

Naw, you probably don't , because I'm so good at hiding it

I ask you is Jim Carey  The Mask or is The Mask Jim Carey, it's scary,

Anxiety and trust play a major role in my brain 

Searching for answers I get lost in my mind

Hold up I'm about to answer your question just give me some time

See the herbal push aside feelings that consume every moment of the day 

but them problems never go away

I had to learn to look in the mirror and deal with them face to face

Damn.....fuck this isolation that's what i always say 

but when you come around for some reaon I always walk away

It's not the same with me everyday of the year changes are there,

No matter how small they may appear

I'm listenig to everything you say you want and need, and no, it's not too much to ask i would agree

Am I condifent, am I too silent, and I cheerful today? 

May need time for myself, or I may just ask if you would like to stay

"I know that I'm an introvert!" I scream that in my head every other day 

"I kow that I'm an introvert!" so why's that so bad. 

On bad days I usually sit around and write, use to ride my bike, 

Now I'm hooping or at the gyrm half the night 

Sometime being around people tires me I struggle to speak 

But I love a good conversations

I find my peace in being alone, my adventures are found inside my mind 

And I place them inside my notebook

I'd rather sit at home on my throne; I no longer hit the clubs looking for looks and admiration

Expressing myself in words sometime seem impossible 

I long to speak, but I must be apporached first

Just kow that once you've cracked my shell, you may like what you find

I'll even give you a short tour of what's going on up in my mind 

And even if I'll  need my time,  a day or so just for me

Just know I'm always thinking of you and will be there for you as I ought to be! 

ODE TO HER

Just as sure as 1 + 1 = 2

Baby girl I'll be there for you 

You are mine and I am yours 

Your the only girl that I truly adore

I know from time to time I may act mad wreckless

You and I together can make the world jealous

Turn on some music preferably jazz

In the living room slow dancing grabbing that ass

I picked up some Sangria let's sip some wine

And later on let's get freaky on the FaceTime 

I'm a junky for your love baby girl I need a fix 

when I'm away I really really I miss your kiss 

Blue Dream gets me high but your essence gets me higher

I love to get fly but when I'm w/ you I'm flyer 

sweeter than a swisher 

If I had to choose I'd always pick her 

I'm thankful for her everyday cause she make my life richer. 

I got what you want and you got what I need

I've been thinking about rings & getting on bended knee

Don't you ever think about leaving, you forever mine your love is special one of a kind

I've searched my entire life for a woman like you and my love is ring and sound off true

Everyday I want to be a better man for you

I'm blessed to have you in my life and call you my boo

I don't ever have to question you always got my back you have strength wherever I lack

And I am strong where ever your weak I will always be there cause you can count on me

My heart burns for you and that flame won't diminish,  in the bed giving you  a strong finish

I know that line would give you a smile 

This that O'jays, Al Green, bobby blue band type of love 

This that shit my grand parents always spoke of 

Your love is a drug and I need my pill 

Always trying to see you 4 hrs to get to  Nashville 

Let's hit a movie, concert or a show 

Love it when you dress up you so fine head to toe 

Sometimes I catch myself watching you fall asleep 

And then I just lightly rub and caress your cheek

Picturing you and I doing this for life 

Me and you together Baby girl I don't have to think twice

Had to get off Twitter bitches all up in my mentions 

Had to make sure I gave you all my attention

Niggas keep asking me how can I afford her

Been praying for her all my life and that's my reward Bruh 

Pack your favorite panties let's board a plane

Love you in those Gucci heels they match your frame 

Fire & Ice

I have ice water flowing through my veins they say I don't care

Holding all my feelings inside for only me to bear

Why share, when those you care for most hurt you the most leaving you in despair 

Now I'm lashing out I didn't mean to say that but when the ice in these veins meets the fire in my heart 

It boils, slowly at first heating up like a tea pot on the stove until 

That loud sound of the tea whistle blows 

I'm scared of that action b/c if I blow that  action will cause a reaction and I'm scared to go down that road

I've been called selfish many times and yes it is true but when the selfish person is not me what should I do. 

Iron Mike Tyson set his opponents up with a great jab until that one shining moment his opponent lets his guard down then POW 

upper cut has them seeing stars 

Your amazed at the upper cut and what raw power it brings but you didn't see those hundred jabs that brought the sting

Pen in my hand letting my thoughts flow Today was my birthday if you didn't already know. 

33 I am a very significant number to me and never did I think it would bring out the worst in me

GOD, I know this has to be a test and no I'll never defy your holy name

I thank you for these test and the strength it brings. 

My love is upset with me b/c I'm not interested in the things she did for me 

I don't understand when I did everything in my power just to lay by her side 

Now that ice is meeting the fire and I feel that tea pot just may blow 

Lord please calm these nerves, so much is on my mind, like when I get fired Monday a job I gotta find. Bills still need to be paid, Christmas gifts purchased, bank account ugly as fuck, guess it's safe to say I'm down on my luck

And the question I keep asking myself

what money is coming in????

Lord I need answers so it's you I come to begin

I made a promise to not go back to these streets knowing it's so easy for me 

But I'm not that man anymore and I'm not trying to be

Lord I'm learning these lessons as you take me through the Fire, I know your there even when I can't feel or see you b/c I know the devil is a liar 

I want to smoke to ease my mind and help me sleep but I promised myself to stop and get my system clean

I know I'm hard headed I get that from William Moody and I miss him so much honestly and truly 

If he were here he would give me a prayer cloth, something I never cherished as a child

But oh Lord do I ever need one now. 

I can Ethel's voice "My child stay in GODs light"  

G-Ma this battle I will not lose, I have so much to give to this world so much more to prove!

This ice must melt and this fire must cool and then I'm giving all praises to GOD, let the church say AMEN!